15.8.13
Another day, yet the pain wont go away.
It is a new day, I was having night shift the previous night. And apparently not talking to you was the loneliest night so far. Every second felt like minutes. Minute felt like hours. Hours felt like days. Days as weeks and so on.. We've spent almost 12 whole hours not chatting, except for the times when I guess i couldn't take it and just had to say something to you. Who'd knew I'd have to be so weak.
I don't know how to live life separately from yours, keep having this urge to find out or try to get to know what you are up to. Or where you are at this current time. I wonder if you're feeling the same way nowadays. Although you've already given me that answer, " It's my life " Deep down I am hoping that those are just words that you're forcing yourself to say out.
Or perhaps now, you are truly feeling this way. All I can do is wait.
Everything that I do, every single thing that I see reminds me of you and when I have gone through it before with you. I miss all the moments spent and want to have more time with you. I just can't keep you out of my mind. Not even for a single moment.
I hope all these would stop eventually. And have you back in my arms.
Moo:D
9:09 pm
14.8.13
Will this nightmare end one day?
Who am I kidding. It's already feels like it's over.
Everything is just so different now. The way I am spoken to, or in fact not talked to at all. As much as I am trying to control how I feel, it's tough as hell. Such a foolish mistake to have been made by me. Who'd have thought that this would cause so much more hurt than before.
I do try to initiate things, perhaps to make it better. Or maybe just for my selfish needs. I don't know why I am doing this. Perhaps I keep feeling one day we'd be back together.
Happy times and the sad, I hope to experience them again. Together. Once more.
It feels so awful. A wonderful, amazing, legendary feeling of some one to get back to at home at the end of the day. Knowing that she is waiting for you. Now although it is still there, all that's left is a fragment of that sensation. And I am trying as best as I can to grab on, so tightly. Just enough to not make things feel awkward.
We do still share our experiences, our day, our problems, giving one another the much needed 'listening ear'. But something is missing. Something so valuable, anyone who had gained it would literally do anything to get back should they have lost it. But then again. There isn't a point in doing so, should one of the other party doesn't feel the same.
Time. Such a cruel factor to take in to consideration. The day has already been set, and hopefully on that one day, it'll be back to the way things were. I have never wished or hoped for something so badly. But hey, if it's meant to be who am I to question it.
I'm just trying to get things off my chest, being introvert and all. It's so difficult, to find a person and chat it out. Schedules are hectic, I guess we have our own problems to face. And this is one of them I have to face myself.
I can't lose anymore, I have already lost enough.
Moo:D
4:52 pm
